All Things Controversial

For women kids are, quite simply, the reason for our existence. We live, we work, occasionally we play-- if we can sandwich it between the changing of dirty diapers--and finally we die. If there are decisions to make or a future to look forward to, it's always about the kids. If there are choices to be made about how to spend money, it's always about the kids. In fact, you could almost say that children are 'national security' for women. There's just no questioning it. If you even try, the look you receive will make finding half a bitten worm in an apple a pleasant experience.

I'm guessing there might be a few guys reading this who think I'm exaggerating. Well, I hope the vacation you've been having on that deserted tropical isle for the last 10 years has been enjoyable. Welcome back to the real world.

Let me just give a small example that should bring the point home. Suppose you find yourself in a life and death situation (doesn't matter what it is) and your wife is presented with a choice of saving you or saving her child. You know how that plays out... and don't fool yourself that she would even have to think about it. I just picked a drastic example for illustration but, the truth is, the very same attitude applies in any kind of conflict involving her children. The kids win and you lose every single time.

You can't really blame women for being that way. Well, you can but it won't do any good because her 'protect the kids' instinct has been hardwired into her brain by the last several thousand years of evolution. A child who is protected by Mom tends to survive and prosper. A guy's instinct to want to hook up with every cute girl we see is a similar gift of evolution. It's a fact. Of course that particular instinct can be derailed sometimes in the case of gay men... but that is certainly another topic.

This evolutionary difference in attitude can really cause problems in relationships. I'll be the first to admit that I'm different from most other men in some areas. For example, I hate sports but, again, that's another topic. In the area of my expectations concerning relationships with women though I expect I am very much like a lot of other guys. After you realize you aren't going to be able to have every cute girl you run into, you look for someone to share long-term sex and companionship. What you really want is someone to share your life and do the things you want to do with you.

Now, correct me if I'm wrong, but kids don't really come into the equation. It's all about you and the girl and your companionship and enjoying your life together. And, sometimes women can even agree with that viewpoint... before they have any kids. AFTER the kid is born, you quickly become dirt beneath her feet and the child assumes paramount importance. Which, of course, is why so many marriages fail after the first child is born.

This problematic situation leads me to believe that, in all likelihood, true happiness in a relationship can only be achieved with a woman who can't have kids. Sure, she'd be unhappy, but probably not a lot more unhappy than you are likely to be taking second (third, fourth, hundredth) place to the kids.